PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I used to have an acupuncturist who, as she poked me with needles, once told me that every human being needs a “heart protector,” that’s “like a holy warrior who serves as the queen’s devoted ally.” But the heart protector is not something you’re born with.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of the best new bands of 2009 was the Girls. After touring for months and selling tons of records, the band came home to San Francisco in February to do a sold-out show.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you were going to launch a career as a rap artist any time soon, I’d suggest using the alias “Big Try” as your stage name.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Historians trace the origin of Poland as a nation to the year 966. It mostly thrived for hundreds of years, but was extinguished in 1795, when three imperialistic invaders -- Russia, Prussia, and Austria -- claimed different parts of it as their own.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): An Aquarian complained that the astrologers she consulted in early 2009 were wrong. 2009 was supposed to be a time of rapid growth but every Aquarius she knew had a tough ride. Here’s my response: Expansion and opening did occur, but their initial effects weren’t what you expected.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the coming week, you will NOT experience disgusting fascinations, sensationalized accounts of useless developments, or bizarre fantasies in the middle of the night.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take what you really need, Capricorn, but don’t take what you just sort of want. That’s my advice.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The number of bacteria per square inch on a toilet seat averages about 50. Meanwhile, your telephone harbors over 25,000 germs per square inch and the top of your desk about 21,000. I’d like you to use this as a metaphor that you can apply more universally.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You are what you love, not what loves you,” says the character Charlie Kaufman in the film, Adaptation. I urge you to work hard to make that perspective your own. Ideally, it will become a permanent addition to your philosophy of life.