1. YOUR FRIENDS
Rubbing shoulders with a bunch of testosterone-laden jerks, having to squeeze past sweaty creeps just to get to the toilets, getting stared at by a bunch of skanks who have skinny thighs—screw that. At home, it’s just you and your posse—just the way it should be.
2. FACEBOOK
While hand-written invites are cute and personal, our busy lives don’t leave us much time for that kind of attention to detail. That’s when Facebook comes in handy. Just make sure you keep your event private if you don’t want your boss and your ex to show up.
1. Click on View All in the Events column on the right hand side of your Facebook Home page.
2. Click Create an Event.
3. Follow the three-step process; fill out all the blanks.
4. You’ll see three options available in Privacy: Open, Closed and Secret. While they’re all self-explanatory, be extra careful if you go for Open as the event and its details will be visible to all your 348 friends. That means anyone, including your boss, your ex and your mom, can pop along to your party.
5. Post a picture to illustrate your event or include a map if your place is out in the middle of nowhere.
3. THEME PARTIES
Dressing like a geisha is only possible at RCA once a year, for Halloween. At home, of course, you can do as you please. “A house party is a perfect opportunity to throw a themed party; people are more willing to get dressed up,” says Lady Soma, an organizer of the indie Soma Club. Try P.R. Fancy (448 Rachatewi Apartment, Petchburi Soi 18, 02-656-5831, 02-656-5828. www.prfancy.com. Open daily 10am-10pm) where you can find everything from gorilla costumes to Egyptian princesses. And you can rent rather than buy, just don’t get too carried away as there’s a B1,000 deposit for each costume. They also provide wigs, accessories and shoes, even a makeup service if you want to go all out, and why shouldn’t you? It’s a house party after all!
4. FREE BOOZE
You’re gonna pay rent whether you throw this party or not so we’re not counting that as a cost. Now, tell your friends the party is BYOB (that means “bring your own bottle”) and bingo, you’ve got a zero-baht bash.
5. KIND NEIGHBORS
Your neighbors love you. And so does your landlord. And the security guard. But just how much they love you depends on how much advance notice you give them that you’re going to turn your place into a mini-RCA. Write sweet letters. Invite them (don’t worry, they won’t show up). And slip the guy in the uniform a little note of his own.
6. POOLS
Even for those bars that do have pools, would you ever use it? Neither would we. Now if your swanky condo has a pool, that’s a different story. After the kiddies get toweled down by their nannies and put to bed, move in with your crew, your cooler full of beer and your bikini—and party! “A pool party gives guests a lot of space to play and run wild. Wet equals fun, plus there’s plenty of fun stuff you can do in the pool,” says Lady Soma. To carry your beer around the pool while maintaining a sense of class, you need a plastic can rack from Daiso (B60, holds four cans, try the shop at 2/F, Thaniya Plaza. Silom Rd., 02-632-6671. BTS Sala Daeng).
Pool Do’s and Donts’
“Try to use plastic/polystyrene glasses if possible, this minimizes the risk of injury to over-excited guests. Also make sure you have changing facilities and towels available. Oh, and please no, peeing in the pool!”
-Ruskie Cleaver, Big Organization, the man behind monthly parties like Mode and Neon Nights.
7. NO CLOSING HOURS.
Assuming your neighbors are really kind or kind of deaf, the best thing with house parties is that you don’t get thrown onto the street at 1am.
8. COOKING.
Oh, the joy of channeling your inner Julie & Julia and getting your hands dirty in the kitchen. Food stylist Suthipong “Karb” Suriya of Karb Studio says, “it’s important to prepare enough food for guests. If you’re pressed for time, get simple snacks like cashew nuts which can be easily prepared and replenished.”
9-11. CATERING
Now, back to reality. You can’t cook and you can’t be bothered. Just order from these guys:
I Do Catering
6 Soi Ari Samphan 9, Rama 6 Rd., 02-279-4980. www.ido-catering.com.
These guys handle everything, from event planning down to menu preparation. Be it high tea or a BBQ party, they’ve done it all.
Greyhound Catering
27/1 Sukhumvit 53, 02-252-3403/-5. www.greyhoundcafe.co.th.
If hip, funky and fusion is what you’re leaning towards, look no further. Greyhound caters to all occasions with an offering of different packages (cocktails, food-in-the-box, buffet).
Caterman by S&P Catering Service
02-314-0990/1. www.sandpfood.com.
This is perhaps the safest choice of all especially if you’re not too familiar with the tastes of all your guests—S&P will sit comfortably with anyone.
11-13. DELIVERY
Can’t afford catering? Try these instead:
Sunrise Tacos
Between Sukhumvit Soi 12 and 14, 02-229-4851. www.sunrisetacos.com.
This 24-hour joint delivers their Mexican grub right to your doorstep. Visit their website for a full menu. Delivery charge applies.
Somtam Jay Kee
137/1-2, Soi Polo, Rama 4 Rd., 02-251-2272.
Nothing spells party quite like a sumptuous Isaan feast. Order their specialties: fried chicken and a variety of somtam, of course.
Food By Phone
02-663-4663. www.foodbyphone.com
This is a true food feast. Log on to their website where you’ll be spoiled for choice with an enormous selection of food, categorized by type from Mediterranean and Malaysian to Isaan and vegetarian, from the city’s top restaurants.
14. BROWNIES.
We really don’t recommend taking the sweet goodness of a batch of special recipe brownies to Funky Villa or 808. Somehow, the boys in brown might take offense with the tasty baked goods (they prefer donuts). But at home, it’s the best party trick since tequila shots.
"Snacks like cashew nuts make a great, yet simple appetizer"
Suthipong Suriya
Food stylist, Karb Studio
15. BEYONCE
“Play the tunes that get people up and dance. Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” works like a charm,” advises Lady Soma. It’s your party. Put it on repeat. All night. Until you’re all alone. Then again, if you hate Beyonce, move on to the next point.
16. ...OR MO LAM
In a city blessed with the musical variety of a marching band, getting to play your own music is one huge reason to throw your own party. Turn your back on commercial hip hop and the Groove Riders, and embrace your inner rice farmer, mo lam style. According to Maft Sai, the spin doctor behind radio show Operation Bangkok and monthly party Paradise Bangkok, rare look thung tunes can be found at shops in Chinatown and Mae Mai Pleng Thai outlet (G/F MBK, Rama 1 Rd., 02-898-0500/-2. www.maemaiplengthai.com). Too lazy? Maft Sai’s ZudRangMa compilation CDs can be ordered online at www.zudrangmarecords.com.
Maft Sai’s Essential Tunes
“House Party” - Fred Wesley
“People, Get Up and Drive your Funky Soul” - James Brown
“Why Can’t People Be Colors Too?” - The Whatnauts
“Stars In Your Eyes” - Herbie Hancock
“Woman Of The Ghetto (Live In Montreux)” - Marlena Shaw
17-18. SHUFFLE (AND GENIUS)
After some serious fumbling, we find the latest iTunes Genius Mixes tends to go haywire: one U2 song seemed to produce a lot of hip hop for an Irish rock band. You’ll also need a pretty extensive collection of MP3s. Otherwise, you’ve always got the good ol’ iTunes’ Party Shuffle.
1. Select the Party Shuffle playlist.
2. Select the songs from your playlist(s) or your music library.
3. The order of the songs can be re-arranged with a simple drag and drop.
19. THE BOWERS AND WILKINS' ZEPPELIN
The winner of IDEA 2008 Award, this wireless-compatible and wall-mountable iPod dock not only delivers hi-end sound, its alien’s egg design also makes for a perfect conversation piece. It supports all recent models of iPod and comes with a swish remote control, an auxiliary-input audio jack and composite/S-video output jacks for viewing video and photos on your TV. Check out iStudio at Digital Gateway (1/F, Rama 1 Rd., 02-219-2560. BTS Siam).
20-22. DRINKING GAMES
“A steady flow of booze is simply a must—half-drunk guests are the worst kind,” says party guru, Lady Soma. Games are also a great way for shy people to break the ice. And alchohol is notorious for lowering your inhibitions (and your standards). We’ve played all the following games and lived to regret it. Enjoy.
Beer Pong
Have a big table, ball and plenty of beer!
1. Set up ten beer-filled plastic cups in a triangle on each end of the table.
2. Split into two teams. One member of each team takes turns bouncing a ping-pong ball into the other team’s cups.
3. You get the ball in a cup, the other team has to drink it.
Drunken Jenga
A perfect drinking game if you’ve got all night.
1. Prepare a shot of vodka (or any other liquor of your choice).
2. Play the game as you normally would.
3. Whoever topples the tower, takes the tipple.
Stab-A-Pirate
Jenga can take way too long/involve too much skill, try this detour to drunkenness.
1. Prepare a shot of vodka (or any other liquor of your choice).
2. Take turns stabbing the barrel.
3. Whoever gets the pirate, drink the shot.
Jenga and stab-a-pirate can be found at Toys-R-Us (6/F, CentralWorld, Ratchadamri Rd., 02-613-1400).
23. THROWING UP IN YOUR OWN TOILETS.
24. FANCY ICE-CUBES
Name one bar in Bangkok that serves drinks with heart shaped ice-cubes? Right. So, buy this multi-shaped ice-cube tray at Daiso (2/F, Thaniya Plaza. Silom Rd., 02-632-6671. BTS Saladaeng) and pour in some Coke for added fun.
25-26. THE WII AND WII FIT
Nothing quite beats the thrill of seeing Bob trying to snowboard on the newly released Wii Fit and Balance Board (B3,600) after his twelfth Heineken. Or Air trying to play ping pong with the TV’s remote control: “The Wiimote is the white one, honey.” You can find the Wii (around B7,990) at any half-decent mall near you.
27. CHANGING OUTFITS
At home, you can drunkenly spill a glass of red wine down the front of your dress and just change into a new one on the spot. Except you probably won’t bother.
28. SHOWING OFF YOUR DREAM PAD.
Speaking of making an impression, all that money spent at Casa Pagoda (Ozono Complex, Sukhumvit Soi 39, 02-258-1917. www.casapagoda.com), is finally going to pay off as everyone oohs and aahs over your Union Jack footstool (B35,000) and sweeping views of the Chao Phraya. Your place not quite swanky enough? Check out our recent “Pimp your Pad” story at http://tinyurl.com/yhx2no9.
29. SMOKING
Yeah, yeah, smoking will kill you. But when you’re drunk, even if you’ve quit for years, you’d kill for a smoke. At least, at home, you can light up.
30. LOSING YOUR B30,000 IPHONE.....
Then finding it under your couch the next morning. Along with your friend’s Blackberry Bold 9700 (that’s the new one), wallet and perhaps someone’s pants.
31. NO DRUNK DRIVING (OR DODGY CAB DRIVERS)
32. NO WAKING UP IN STRANGE BEDROOMS
You might still wake up with strange people, though.
33. JUNK AT YOUR DOORSTEP
Around 1am, you’re going to want more food. And we’re not talking boeuf bourguignon. We mean fried stuff to soak up all the booze you’ve been binging. In addition to phone ordering, major fast food chains like McDonalds (www.mcthai.co.th), S&P (www.sandpfood.com), KFC (www.kfc.co.th), Pizza Company (www.pizza.co.th), Pizza Hut (www.pizzahut.co.th) and Narai Pizzaria (www.naraipizzeria.com) now offer online options. Take your pick.
34. SING STAR
OK, karaoke is crap but only when you’re getting ripped off in some sketchy joint, which is why we salute the game SingStar (from B2,000 at leading malls) on the PlayStation 3 (around B12,000).
35. GET PEOPLE IN YOUR BED MUCH, MUCH FASTER
By 2am, we know we’d say yes to just about anything with a pulse. But in a bar, there’s always that annoying “your place or my place” dilemma which seems to deflate our libido faster than you can say, “never mind.” At least, at home, you’re two steps away from your leopard-print satin bedsheets. Rrrrrowr.
36-38. NOT HAVING TO CLEAN UP.
So the fun’s been had and the guests have left the building, leaving you with the catastrophic aftermath. Get in touch with these cleaning companies to restore peace and order to your lovely home.
COIT
482 Soi Sainamthip, Sukhumvit Soi 22, 02-743-1250. www.coit.co.th.
With half a century experience and branches in the US, Canada and Thailand, they can de-soil anything from curtains and Persian carpets to sofas and cushions. They normally visit your place before quoting the price which falls between the range of B8,000-B20,000.
Xtrade Genuine
84/1 Moo 3, Klong Nueng, Pathumthani, 02-516-1020/-1, 08-6322-3996, 08-6311-8904. www.xgenthai.com.
These guys can make your place look new again within a day. Its professional team will clean everything from the floor to the ceiling. Starting price from B3,000. Gardening and landscape design services are also available.
Four Hands Maintenance
46/82 Moo 12, Nuanphaka Village, Nuanchan Rd., 02-510-2571, 02-944-6362. www.fourhandscleaning.com.
Four hands are surely better than two when it comes to cleaning. With all-around cleaning services, they send a cleaning crew equipped with high-quality cleaning machines to wipe away every trace of dirt. Prices start from B6,000.
39. THANK YOU CALLS
The day after a massive party can be really depressing. At least you’ll be getting calls (or Facebook messages) from your nicer friends thanking you for your efforts, which should make Sunday less painful.
40. STILL NOT CONVINCED?
Get the best of both worlds with our roundup of bars with private rooms.
