1. Maya Bay is closed. How will Koh Phi Phi keep its economy afloat?
a With the new slogan, “So much safer than Koh Tao.”
b By opening a McDonald’s.
c By not telling the Chinese tour groups and taking them to Koh Poda instead. “Yes, really. This is the exact spot where Leonardo DiCaprio fought the shark.”
d With a network of safehouses charging exorbitant fees to on-the-run Supreme Sangha Council members making their way to the border.
2. Why is the junta pissed at Future Forward Party leader Thanathorn Juangroongruangkit?
a He retweeted that Cambodian blog post about the price of petrol.
b They just got rid of one billionaire populist and don’t have the energy to get rid of another one.
c He promised to queue for Croquant Chou then came back with Beard Papa.
d He threatened to tear up their constitution.
3. What’s the latest on the Chiang Mai judges’ courtside Doi Suthep residences?
a Since it’s illegal to demolish structures built with public money, Ristr8to will turn them into something the public wants: a cold-brew research center serving artisanal coffee like you’ve never tasted before.
b They’re up for rent on Airbnb. Just Google search “Wow stunning mountain views Airbnb Chiang Mai” and it’s the first result.
c Reforestation is definitely happening but without demolishing the houses.
d They’ll be used to stockpile teak.
4. Why might foreign minister Don Pramudwinai lose his job?
a He moonlights as a Grab driver.
b He can’t tell bafun from murasaki uni.
c “Khun Don” sounds like “condom,” and he couldn’t take the other ministers bullying him.
d His wife’s shareholding might be unconstitutional.
5. Which of these is fake news?
a Yingluck now has a 10-year British visa.
b Floyd Mayweather spotted at Smokin Pug.
c Uniqlo Thomas Maier collaboration better than JW Anderson line.
d VAT rising to 9%.
Answers
1 The correct answer is (b). Though we’d also recommend (d). Those guys have tons of money.
2 The correct answer is (d). If there’s any constitution tearing to be done, they’ll be the ones to do it.
3 The correct answer is (b). Yeah, we’re as confused by that as you are.
4 The correct answer is (d). Some Pheu Thai party member spotted it along with the shares of 90 NLA members.
5 The correct answer is (d). Though that didn’t stop it trending on Twitter.
