Real singles put different matchmaking services to the test. By Sarita Urupongsa, illustration by Sunchai Kuttikrut

Love at Lunch?

Mind (not her real name), 32-year-old general manager, is looking to end a barren run after two years without a boyfriend. She tried It’s Just Lunch (02-126-8133/4. www.itsjustlunchbangkok.com) who specialize in setting up dates for busy professionals and promise to “minimize the stress by efficiently working with your busy schedule.”

The Setup
“The first step is an interview at the It’s Just Lunch office with one of their consultants. She asks me to do a lengthy two-page test giving them an overview of what makes me tick. Then it’s time for a one-on-one interview where they ask about my past love life and what I expect from my next relationship. The interviewer is nice, but way too talkative during the interview, thinking for me instead of letting me express what I want. I expected a more friendly, open-minded chat, rather than a consultant-client conversation. After an hour she assures me she has all the info she needs and promises to get back to me in a couple of days with some matches.”

The Choice
“As promised she rings back with the details of two Thai guys with similar lifestyles to mine. She gives me a brief profile of both but no photo. I’m impressed. Both have good jobs, are financially secure and also claim to have interesting hobbies. Two days later they pick one guy for me and set up a lunch date for the following week.”
“Two days before the date, I get a call from the consultant apologizing for my date who has to cancel. But, rather than the other Thai guy, my replacement turns out to be a 36 year old farang. I choose one of two restaurants they suggest and get ready for the big day.”

The Date
“I dress comfy, girly shirt and jeans, and reach the venue 10 minutes early, just in case. He comes on time and is dressed super formal, in a suit, making me feel a little embarassed. We talk a bit and he hands me his business card. It’s then I realize that he’s just on his lunch break while I have the whole afternoon free for this. It makes me feel like I’m meeting a new business partner!”
 “As it turns out he owns a business and 80% of our conversation is about business and sport. It’s kind of cool, in that I learn some new things about the corporate world, but it’s a bit of a one track conversation. I don’t like a person who’s obsessed with work. In the end, it’s more like business networking than a date.”
“We end up spending two hours at the hi-so restaurant I unfortunately picked. The dinner is lousy, the service is terrible, and the match isn’t really a match. I actually feel sorry for him since he’s been on 11 or 12 dates using this service, and hasn’t really a found a good match yet (me included).
“At the end of the meal he’s nice enough to pay the bill, even when I try to insist on sharing. He also asks if my business card has my mobile number, but I’m not sure he’s really serious or if he just has good manners and is trying to be nice.”

The Next Step
“I don’t really know if I’d go on a second date with him. About a 30% chance I guess. I mean he’s not that bad; he’s nice and polite. But he’s just being himself and I’m just being me, which, it turns out, doesn’t really work.”

It’s Just Lunch offers two packages: you can choose just to date people in Bangkok (one year costs B32,000) or, if you travel a lot or split your time between cities, pay extra for the dual city dating package (B42,000). This buys you a guaranteed minimum of 12 dates.

Digital Dating

New media assistant, Mhai, 24, is somehow still single. But what better way for her to try and find love than through an online dating agency. She tried Naddate (02-751-5550. Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:30pm. www.naddate.com), one of the biggest and best known online dating websites in Thailand.

The Setup
“I go to the website and sign up for free, though you do get reminders after a few days recommending that you become a paid up member. The free sign-up process involves completing a registration form in Thai (there is also an English option for farangs). The form involves answering personal questions like do you smoke, drink, etc. It’s super long and a little weird. Especially as you have to fill in a 150-word description of the type of person you are looking for and who you are. You also need to post your profile photo­—facing forward, no editing and no fancy graphics allowed. This is pretty strict in that they have to approve it before posting it online. Once you’re done, and for no charge, you can send (limited) automatic messages, leave comments on the web board, create a fancy profile page and save your favorite members in your mailbox. You can even leave your email or phone number but you can’t access the online chatting facility (like MSN messenger) unless you pay for membership. I sign up for a six-month premium membership and then have to wait half a day for the payment details to be processed. Then it’s a case of looking for the perfect guy.”

The Choice
“There’s a lot to choose from, so I start narrowing my search down. To start with, I select straight guys between 18-35, who live in Bangkok. The results are quick and I’m pretty amazed when over 1,000 guys pop up. I start narrowing down my hunt by scanning the profile pictures. I see quite a few guys I like the look of and start clicking on their profiles to show them I’m interested. Then I get a little bit bored and start clicking on loads of random people. The guys will get notified that I clicked on them and see that I am interested in talking. I drag my favorite boys (which is a lot) into my personal favorite box, where I can view their profiles at my leisure. After less than a week I realize that over 30 guys are interested and have sent messages, though not many of the ones I’m interested in. I have even had over a hundred boys visiting my page, which makes me feel great. Some even leave a number! I found tons of good-looking guys on the site but most of them are not members and many are a bit weird looking. Even so, I have started getting addicted to browsing the site, looking at guys and chatting to people. This is bad, it’s affecting my work.”

The Date
“I eventually find that I’m chatting with three to four guys via MSN, since it’s much easier and faster than opening the chat service through the dating website. They’re kind of cool and fit me and my interests, but I’ve yet to talk to any of them on the phone or meet someone in person. Then I’m told the deadline for this story is coming up and an editor from BK asks me to call someone to ask for a date. I try a couple of the ones I’ve been chatting too. The first guy is 28 years old, a little bit chubby (which I like) and is an engineer, he even has a hard hat on his profile pic which is kinda funny. He answers when I call, I say a friendly hello and try to be nice but he seems to be in a furious mood. He’s really rude to me, demanding to know what I want? I’m like, ok, let’s talk later and hang up. To be honest, it was just really embarrassing and so horrible; I feel awful. This is like the first time I try to ring a guy, and a stranger as well, and this happens. It really puts me off the whole process. As time goes by, I start to feel a little calmer. I realize this guy must be a real jerk. I decide to forget about him and try to call a couple of the other guys who I’ve been chatting to. But their lines seem busy or no one answer. So I decide not to bother them again. Not a great result from my first few attempts.”

The Next Step    
“Despite the setback, I realize I still have five more months of membership, and I will definitely continue using the service. I’ve already managed to get to know many new people, and it’s a fun way to relax after a hard day at work. I also realize that you can’t rush these things. It takes a bit of time to get to know someone just through chatting online. I need longer to see if want to take it to the next stage or not. There’s one guy I have an eye on, so who knows, maybe somehow we can get together or go out in the near future. I also need to get over my prejudice about people who have to use a site like this to find a date. It’s kind of tricky—there are a lot of people using the site; it’s pretty cheap, and you don’t necessarily have to pay to look at people. I’m also a little bit suspicious about how true some of the profile photos are. Still, it is a good first step to get to know a lot people with common interests. I’m not sure about extending my membership period but we’ll see what happens.”

Naddate has two options to choose from: the six-month gold package costs you B499, while the 12-month platinum package is B799. Both packages allow three types of payment method: via bank, credit card or mobile phone.

Still Searching

Lek is a senior specialist in production planning. Still single at 46, he’s really hoping that Bangkok Matching (388 Exchange Tower, 42/F, www.bangkokmatching.com) can help him find someone to grow old with.

The Setup
“I have my first appointment with the matchmaker, Khun Bee, at Starbucks. She seems nice, and we do a little interview so she can find out about my background, from my personality and interests to what kind of woman I want to date. Fortunately, she says that my type should be pretty easy to find (wow, what a relief). Turns out men in my age range are quite a catch­—so why have I been single for so long? Then she asks for copies of my ID and, that’s it, we’re done.”

The Choice
“A few days later, Khun Bee sends me one lady’s profile. No picture though. She’s Thai-Chinese, 36, has never married and describes herself as down-to-earth. That sounds nice to me. A day later, I get the profile of another lady, 37, who has two degrees from overseas. Khun Bee gives me both of their cell phone numbers and as they match what I’m looking for, I agree to go on dates with both. She then sets up the place and time for both dates.”

The Date
“A couple of days later, I have my date with the first lady, at 4pm, at Starbucks. I arrive early and she turns up right after me. It’s hardly a dinner date though, she only orders a cup of coffee. She seems kind of quiet and a bit shy. Still, she does complain that the previous matchmaking agency she signed up with was always giving her overrated date profiles. It makes me a little nervous. She asks how come I signed up with this agency and what kind of package I chose. [Lek is actually getting this date for free, for this story] I feel kind of shit that I have to lie to her but I do it anyway. Our date only lasts an hour before she says she has to leave. I pay the bill, and walk her to the BTS station. It was a little awkward and we still don’t know much about each other. I guess she might not be too interested in a second date.”
“The next day I meet the overseas graduate at the same café for lunch. She’s tiny but really charming. Her personality is totally different from the first lady: she’s chatty, smart and fun to be around. I like her straight away. We have a great three-hour date before she has to leave. Fingers crossed that I’ll get a chance to meet her again but I am a little worried as she says she’s often out of town on business.

The Next Step
“Now I have to wait for feedback from Khun Bee. I am excited and, of course, really nervous. It’s not a nice feeling, like I am being judged. When the comments come, Khun Bee tells me that the first lady just wants to be friends. I’m fine with this but what about date number two? Turns out that she’s possibly interested in being more than just friends and wants that second date. Wow, I am relieved and happy! Seems like she has a job out of town but is back in Bangkok every weekend. The distance doesn’t have to be a problem and we can hook up for dinner soon.”

Bangkok Matching has a guaranteed 12 dates/year package. The blind date option costs B42,000 but for B52,000, you can view his/her photo before going out. They also provide a lifetime membership at B140,000 (B240,000 with photos).

HOW TO Ace Your First Date

Kitty-Pitcha Prakaylerdluk, executive consultant at WeMatch (139 Thonglor Soi 10, Sukhumvit Soi 55, 02-392-4502, 08-4900-0771. www.wematch.co.th), gives us some pointers on how to make an impression on the first night.

Pre-Date
• Do some research. Try to find out about your date’s lifestyle, hobbies, job and passions.
• Scope out the meeting place. A first impression is significant, so never over/under-dress for the setting. And never, ever be late. Make sure your know how to get there and try to be 10-15 minutes early.  
• Build confidence by dressing in your all-time favorite outfit. There’s no need to buy a new one. Try too hard and your date will notice.
• Make sure you feel fresh and have a clear mind on the day of the date. Trying to have a romantic dinner after a tough day at work isn’t smart.
• Girls, don’t overdo the accessories and men, stick to a watch, anything else is just distracting.

During the Date
• Don’t get drunk. Just drink enough so that you feel relaxed.
• Order safely. Avoid seafood that’s hard to eat, spaghetti or anything with onion or garlic that can give you bad breath.
• Ladies, don’t just smell the dish, eat it! Guys don’t appreciate your efforts at dieting; they want to see you enjoy the meal.
• Keep topics nice and general. No politics, religion or marriage talk.
• Let your date get chatting and DO listen to the answer. Never pretend; you’ll get caught out.
• Don’t give aggressive comments on issues. Not on the first date.
• Share the bill. But, if the guy really wants to pay, don’t forget to say, “Thank you. Next time, let it be my treat.” Then he’ll see that you’re polite and you’re also up for a second date!
• No getting home late on the first date. Try and end it before midnight.

Post-Date
• Don’t take it too seriously. You’re just at the first stage. Open the door for whoever will come. You can always date others and make the best pick from the choices available.
• Ladies, don’t call the guy first. This is an old school point of view, but trust me. Text or email is much better. n