As Phra Lor is playing at Patravadi Theater, the 2005 Silapathorn Award winner for the Performing Arts reveals his rag-to-riches tale of how a slum kid became a  renowned dance choreographer.

I grew up in the slums of Klongton. My parents came from Ratchaburi and I was brought up there.

TV was a magical creation for me. As a kid, I wondered how the glamorous people could be inside that small box. Why do they get to wear fancy clothes and go to nice places?  Are they different from me? That made me want to be an actor, so I too, could be on TV.

I wanted to be in show business ever since I remember. I thought it was an easy-breezy job. Plus, it sounded like fun and something I could make a lot of money from.

I love being on stage and in the spotlight. That was why I didn’t mind getting hurt or bruised when I first started practicing dance. But once I got to study abroad, I learned that dancing wasn’t just for fun anymore. There were lots of techniques involved.

I put too much pressure on myself. Every day I fought with myself, struggling to figure out how to get better and perform better. How can I kick my leg higher? How can I spin faster?

There were times I wanted to give up, especially when I was young. When I made mistakes, even the tiniest ones, I criticized myself harshly.

I got slated for my debut performance in the play Singha Krai Phob. One critic wrote why had Khru Lek [Patravadi Mejudhon] chosen a dancer to be a leading actor and that I was a complete disaster. I cried my eyes out. I was angry at myself, throwing things, breaking windows. I couldn’t deal with the comments and kept asking myself how they could be so mean when I had given my all. It was so childish of me.

I was narrow-minded. I tended to put myself in the center and base my choreography around my needs and desires. I didn’t let anyone touch my work. I wanted to do it all by myself. Don’t even try to interfere or meddle. Just sit there and watch.

I just came to my senses last year. I finally let others take part in my work. I listened to their opinions and comments with an open mind. I am more relaxed and my work has gotten a lot better. I’ve learned to let go when things don’t go as planned. It’s a shame. I should have figured this out twenty years ago.

Now that I have opened myself up, the world is so beautiful and I know that I’m not alone. I am no longer a coward who stays safely in his own bubble.

Why don’t we use more brains and less technology? Lately, we’ve seen many high budget plays and musicals, so it hit us that we should follow the King’s philosophy of a sufficient economy. With Phra Lor, Patravadi Theater wanted to create a simple yet elegant and sophisticated show, allowing the actors to shine in their characters.

Your body can tell various stories. I like to play with gestures and physical movements and combine them into my choreography.

I don’t believe in modern medicine. Well, not wholeheartedly. I don’t go to see a doctor unless there’s an emergency.

Performing, for me, is healing. It teaches me how to live, how to move and how to breathe properly. It’s like yoga or meditation, actually. If you breathe consciously, it helps ease tension and release stress.

Winning the Silapathorn Award is something of a burden [laughs]. It makes me realize that I have to give back to society. I can’t just do things for my own pleasure anymore.

I run Suan Silp Baan Din in Ratchaburi. It is an art community cum homestay. I want it to be a center where local kids and aspiring artists can come and show their creativity.

Everyone who is an expert in what they do is an artist.
Artists have to learn how to be able to stand on their own feet. You have to learn how to make money and survive by yourself, not just ask for sponsors every time you want to do a project. 

Every day is a reward for me. Being able to meet good people, eat good food, be in good society, everything is a bonus for a slum kid like me.

Whenever I get discouraged, I remind myself that I am now living my childhood dream. Being an actor is what I’ve wanted to do since I was five. And I’ve been on this road for 23 years. Why should I give up now?

I’m pumped with energy. Who says you only get frail and uninspired when you get older? It’s so untrue. The more I grow, the more energy I have and the more I look forward to the next day.

I am an opportunity snatcher. I grab every opportunity that comes my way and make the most out of it.

Don’t settle for things that you don’t enjoy, thinking that one day it will probably grow on you. Do what makes you happy from the first time you do it.