This week you will mainly die from...

Social Networking
Facebook, My Space, even some seemingly innocent twittering—we always knew it was too good to last. The simple pleasure of looking at pictures of your drunk boss riding a bucking bronco, the joyous relief when you found out that the clever girl in your first grade class ended up working in 7-eleven, or the sheer delight of knowing your friend is currently taking a dump: it seems that those innocent, halcyon days are over. Not only are people being fired thanks to their Facebook status but they are also rotting their brain at the same time. Baroness Susan Greenfield, a scientist from Oxford University, has warned that these social networking sites shorten attention spans, encourage instant gratification and make young people more self-centered. Well what does she know the stupid old bag! Right, I’m off to McDonalds and no I am not getting anyone else anything.