Here’s the latest report from our 15-year-old international school correspondent, Pancake.

     Hey guys! It’s been like sooo long! OMG you know there’s been some really crazy stuff going down in my life. For starters, my dad. Can you believe he didn’t get a huge bonus from the bank this year? It totally sucks because now he won’t buy me the new iPhone. He says I shouldn’t complain, coz other people are in a worse place than us. I thought he meant the tweeple in Iran but he said that rich people lost a fifth of their wealth last year? Woa—a fifth? Where did all the money go? Did someone majorly max out their card at Paragon or what?

     You know I blame that Jacko dude who died the other day. He like owed $400 million, and then he dies. Selfish or what? Yeah right, come on. I think his face like finally fell off and he’s hiding out somewhere. Eew, creepy. Is he going to do Thriller for real now or what?

     What’s the big deal anyway? My BFF Jiab’s dad said he sold the most records ever or something, I am like, hello, a record? What is this? The Middle Ages? Don’t people know about torrents? Like, why would you pay for music? I don’t even pay for my clothes.

     I do dig one thing about Jacko. The whole, like, not black but not white thing. Some people tell me I’m not Thai. I’m like HELLO!? You don’t need to speak Thai to be Thai. See, Jacko, he wasn’t white but he totally felt white. And that’s totally cool. Like baby panda, I don’t care if he’s white with black legs or black with white body or red or yellow or Chinese. He is just TOO CUTE! OMG!

     Jiab told me that the government bought him so we would all be happy. I’m like I want my own panda and a new iPhone 3Gs before I’m happy. Hey Abhisit, sort it out dude! Or I’m going on strike.

     If not a panda, then one of those druggie wallabies making weird crop circles would be kinda cool. I know how they feel. I sometimes walk around in circles after I’ve had a few strawberry smoothies that stall used to sell outside our campus. I don’t know what was in them but they tasted yummy even if they made Jiab really sick, 555. It totally sucks that the head master closed it down.
     Stay happy people…